I'm doing this update now at 3:30 instead of sleeping because this story struck me in my funny irony bone.

Its this story on digg about a father and daughter trying to ban the book Fahrenheit 451. Can you smell the irony already? Some of you may need a refresher on what F451 is about. It is about a guy named Guy Montag who is a "firefighter" in the future who is in charge of banning books. Now I did not read this book particularily well with detail (ahem) in 8th grade, but I have a very sophisticated irony radar. And. Its going crazy right now.

The Verms want to ban a book that is about censorship? I would think of a clever analogy, but frankly, this is so overwhelming that I can't. F451 was discussing some consequences of removing the freedom of speech from society. Books are burned because of their content and how "evil" they are. This is what the Verms, the family that wants to ban the book, are trying to do. Someone go grab the matches.

The gripes the Verms have against the book include its vulgar language, including "discussion of being drunk, smoking cigarettes, violence, 'dirty talk,' references to the Bible and using God's name in vain." As Mr. Verm puts it so elegantly, "It's just all kinds of filth."

Mr. Verm's daughter, Diana, a sophomore, is reading the book in class. I think her quote would be even more perfect for a caption under a picture of her. "The book had a bunch of very bad language in it. It shouldn't be in there because it's offending people. [...] If they can't find a book that uses clean words, they shouldn't have a book at all." If we can't find a book that uses clean words, we shouldn't have a book at all. Has this God-loving creature read the Bible? I know I haven't, but I know theres stuff in there far more worse than smoking a fag. I'd pull out quotes on rape, masturbation, and the beating of women, but if I do, I think my pants would explode because of my irony radar going crazy. (Yeah, its down there.)

Do people still live in such a disillusioned world that people can't swear? I want her to read Mystic River or Catcher in the Rye. Do her parents let her read Harry Potter? People snog all over that and I'm sure they've "damn"ed a number of times. Enough to go to hell? In the Verm's case, probably, yes. Or wait. Actually reading a Harry Potter book is out of the question because its about witchcraft. JK Rowling should be tied and thrown into a river somewhere.

I almost forgot the point out a final bit of irony. "Alton Verm's request to ban 'Fahrenheit 451' came during the 25th annual Banned Books Week." I had to read that sentence twice. Banned Books Week is a week celebrating freedom of speech and reading(?). This case is so plagued with irony that I don't think the people reading Mr. Verm's complaint could make it through without laughing to death.

The real world is filled with alcohol, smoking, violence, "dirty talk," the Bible, and references to God's name "in vain." All of which I'm sure can be found in a single hunting trip in good ol' Texas, where this complaint is being filed. Hell, I'll even bet that within 1hr of any hunting trip, all of these crimes against humanity would be committed. I hope Mr. Verm's complaint does not go through. Maybe if he had read F451 when he was in grade school instead of not going to grade school, he would understand what is at stake here.

Infrequency of updates. I was talking to Parth about it the other day. And I came up with this: We don't revolve around 9legged; 9legged revolves around us. A nice chiasmus for you. It means that we have external lives that we are more dedicated to than this site. This site is just dedicated to us.

So yesterday I didn't stay after to work on hall and stuff because Caroline asked me to do some volunteer stuff and it sounded like a bunch of hours and I said yes. So she wants me to get off at her bus stop. So I did. And Mr. Watson gave me a goddamn bus referral. He said it in a oh-ho-sucks-to-be-you-but-i'm-still-smiling kinda way. "You can either stay on the bus, or I give you a bus referral. these are my only two options." Now I wasn't really so pissed off at the fact that I got one, but more of his tone of deliverance. He says that I can write it off as long as I bring in a note on Monday so I think I'm going to be fine. But, either way. Deliverance.

And that volunteering thing? We did absolutely nothing. I had lost my jacket Thursday at school and I didn't bring something yesterday so I froze my ass off from like 4-9 sitting around watching the Kempsville homecoming game.

• Voting for the future - Ever since I got a feedreader and put Kottke back on my daily hit list, I've been reading his stuff more. Ha. Imagine that. Well he brings up an interesting point. Should votes be counted per capita as to accommodate for the future? As in, if people 18+ are voting for themselves now, should parents have the obligation to vote for initiatives and people who would help their children? As in, should children have a vote through their parents? Its a nice idea... but I'm going to have to give this one a big "No."
  There will simply be too much abuse. There will be a whole new generation of "voter babies" and "voter marriages." As in, people who get hitched and have babies just so that they can push their views into the elections. Since the kids themselves are 1. uneducated enough to understand, 2. cannot vote anyway, 3. can't really voice their opinions to their parents coherently, 4. cannot reach the voting table, the parents have a free ride for abuse. "Oh, look, honey, we have 4 votes now instead of just our usual 2. Lets vote double for banning stem cell research!" And once a person has reached the ability to be educated, to coherently voice their opinions, and to be tall enough to reach the voting booth, they can either voice their opinions to their parents and influence their decision, or, if their parents and them have differing opinions, they just have to wait a couple of more years.
  What would be smarter to do is implement voter aptitude tests for people 14-17. Not racist, just intelligently discriminant. If they're intelligent enough to vote and understand the issue, let them. They're probably more educated than the average voter, anyway. In fact, give voter aptitude tests for everyone. If you're a dumbass, don't vote. Actually. That would never vote. Everyone has a voice, even if you are a dumbass.
  However, what actually has a chance of being implemented is a preliminary voter system. People 14-17 can get out there and vote on the exact same ballot as their parents, and their votes will be tallied and given to their representatives and elected officials. This will tell them what eligible voters in the future would want, as opposed to the eligible voters today. This way, some politicians actually might say "hey, looks like these kids want stem cell research. if i don't do something that makes it seem like i support it, i might get voted out! =o." In a perfect world.


• < Three - Less than three, you love me, typing out my fantasy. Meet me here on IRC, lolol. Less than three, OMG, love computer fantasy. Meet me here on IRC, lolol. One of the most annoying songs you will ever hear in your life. But its so damn sticky. It'll be stuck in your head for the rest of the day, I promise. If you don't think so at the start, wait til the chorus. Typical Japanese music kicks in. I hope to God its Japanese. If you actually look at the lyrics, they're actually quite funny.


• Castle Crashers racist? - Going to far. Just watch. I'm tired from typing all this. At 9 o'clock on the morning, typing that huge political rant really wears you out.

I got another full day/weekend ahead of me. Thank God I don't have to do more yardwork tomorrow. I got theory in about an hour, then volunteering with some little kid music thing this afternoon, then Slabby's party. Good god. Little kids in Halloween costumes. And I still don't know what I'll be for Slabby's party.

37s ign als ftw

Okay. So, story time. I had nothing to do today so I wrote about maybe 3/4 of the Baroque portion of my personal project (i'm not really satisfied with it, but i'm not dissatisfied like i usually am) and then Jeff came over. And I totally kicked his ass at Tekken 3. He brought Mortal Kombat, one of the cheapest and suckiest games ever. We still played. I lost. But then, I had this sudden urge to play Street Fighter. So.

First we walked to Blockbuster, no PS1 games. Then, we walked across the street to Kroger. They don't even sell games. We stumbled on this pawn shop that I never knew was there in the same plaza and we looked. No Street Fighter. So we decided to go all the way to the next rental place, maybe 3/4 of a mile down. It didn't seem like 3/4 of a mile. Seemed like 20 minutes. We walked on Kempsville for a good while until we got to the rental place. NO PS1 GAMES.

We were pretty damn tired. But K-mart was about 5mins away so we went there. I was going to scream if they didn't sell PS1 games. Did I mention I don't have a PS2 or whatever the kids have these days? Just checking.

So we got to K-mart and what do you know, they don't have them. So I went to the talking fish section of the store and pressed all the buttons and let the symphony of talking bass fish ring. I think the store people got pissed off.

We decided to screw it and just get smoothies instead. So we did. This was about one and a half hours into our little adventure. So we decided to turn back. One hell of a walk back, I must mention, though. We took a wrong turn based on Jeffery's suckass advice. I thought it was the next road ahead, but apparently, "they're both the same." Same my ass.

We ended up getting lost and had to call Shirui to bail us out. Jesus. He's a lifesaver. Can't wait til I freaking drive.

Throughout this ordeal, moral support from Heidi and Eric were at the minimum sucktacular. Thanks a lot. We counted on you. :>.

So we just went home and I downloaded a SFII ROM for SNES. Not bad. I still got a craving, though.

• YES, I BELIEVE. The Flying Spaghetti Monster was recently sighted in Germany. If this isn't undeniable truth that He exists, I don't know what is. Unlike the second coming of Jesus, the FSM lives. RAmen for life.


• Uh oh. Looks like another religious night. What is the atheist's worst nightmare? A banana. This evidence is so compelling. This can really make a non-believe believe. For believers, this is just needless reaffirmation.
  Actually, speaking of atheism, I went out to the store today to look at The God Delusion, and it was exactly what I feared. A non-religious man touting non-religion religiously. The ultimate paradox. If you're not religious, stay that way and don't preach non-religion to me. k plx thxn.


• BREAKING NEWS: Resounding Victories In All States, Counties, Cities, Towns - WASHINGTON, DC—After months of aggressive campaigning and with nearly 99 percent of ballots counted, politicians were the big winners in Tuesday's midterm election, taking all 435 seats in the House of Representatives, retaining a majority with 100 out of 100 seats in the Senate, and pushing political candidates to victory in each of the 36 gubernatorial races up for grabs.

Deeva reads this?

twa nge rs ftw

I got too frustrated and tired to work on the flash experiment for this weekend, so I called it quits. Actually, its more of a game. A half-game. I'd upload one I did last week... but I'm too lazy and tired. Expect a basic outline of it done for tomorrow, with more features to come.

I've actually been playing more Virtual Console on my Wii than anything else. DK rules.

And I am extensively upset at my piano right now. Yeah, I still practice, but I just end up banging my keyboard in frustration. I have an electric piano and it has no idea what tone, timbre, or dyanmics are. I've realized this problem in the past, but I have really not been too bothered by it, until now. Frustrating.

On to the Dailies. I have a big backlog since I haven't posted in a while. I might do an All-Dailies post tomorrow with 5 or so. Along with a normal update.

• D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y - Its spelled DEFINITELY, not DEFINATELY. This has gotten on my nerves lately as well after I realized I've been spelling it wrong all this time.


• Sex/Romantic map of a High School - This can probably be applied to any school. Its very interesting to see patterns, especially the lesbians and gays. One minute you're straight, then BAM, you're connected to a blue dot. You are also quick to pick up on pimps and whores. Check out the guy that did nine girls. And of course, there is already a YTMND out for it.


• 40 years for porn and technology ignorance - Oh God. Please don't let this turn into a rant. Please don't. TOO LATE.
  Ok, so here's the set up. A substitute teacher comes in to sub for a middle school class and wants to use the computer, but doesn't have a login ID. She gets a full-time teacher to log in with his ID. The full-time teacher said to not log him out or shut off the computer. The substitute agrees. The sub then steps out of the classroom for a bit and then when she returns, there are porn pop ups on the computer. And what happens? She faces 40 years in jail.
  
  Why does she face 40 years in jail? A complete destruction of what we call the law, of course. Obviously, anyone with common sense will know that the teacher could not have possibly started the pop ups. She stepped out of the room, for Christ's sake. But no, the school system wants to cover up for the inadequate anti-spyware software. And this, in turn, reveals their technological ignorance. The school system hired an "expert," a police officer that deals with cybercrime. This police officer offered his "expert" analysis and concluded that the substitute, Ms. Amero, had intentionally visited porn sites. Oh? Intentionally? He reached this conclusion by viewing logfiles, which, I can tell you, don't say shit about what is intentional and what is not. The log will simply tell you what sites have been visited, and when, much like "History" does. In fact, I'll bet that all he did was fire up IE and take a look at "History." So how does this show that she intentionally viewed the sites? It doesn't. A spyware program could have hijacked the computer and started the slew of pop ups.
  
  However, Amero's side hired a real expert. This expert has worked in the field since '66 and has worked with networks ranging from the NSA to the IRS. I call him an expert. His analysis concluded that the anti-spyware software was outdated and that the computer was infected long before the sub got there. Sadly, his testimony not allowed due to petty legal procedures he did not bother to go through.
  
  So, because of this poor testimony and complete dumbasses of a judge (in the tech sense) and jury, she is likely to be convicted. Talk about destruction of law. However, why fight? Why even bother getting a crackhead testimony? Read on.
  
  This entire fiasco is just a weak attempt by the school system to cover up their inadequate funding for computer administrators and software. Had they actually had an effective system (such as our beloved synmantic), the porn would not have even showed up. Had they had installed newer versions of Windows and newer versions of anti-spyware software, the computer would have never even gotten infected. This not a story about one teacher getting screwed for the rest of her life, but about one school system trying to keep face by sacrificing that one teacher.
  
  And also what gets me is how technologically ignorant and ideologically blind the entire city seems to be. Immediately when porn is mentioned, they jump to terrible conclusions. "Porn in our schools!" "Where are our morals?!" "Skin the teacher, it must be her fault!" People need to lift the veil they are covered in and see reality. People should be appauled at how inadequate the protections on a computer are. People should be appauled at how technologically retarded the "expert" used in the trial is. People should be angry and up in arms at the school system. But, they aren't, and it looks like this poor woman is going to jail. People seem perfectly find about that, though.
  
  Read the three articles I included in this rant. Its well worth it.
  
  And please excuse any grammar mistakes or illogical statements I have made, its 2 in the morning.

long ftw

Oh God. Oh God. Oh. God. I hate stupid people. And that's exactly what this woman is. Before I explain what the situation is, take a look at the disclaimer and legal notices on her site at the bottom of her page. Basically, a big point the disclaimer makes is that IF YOU USE ANY OF THIS OR EVEN QUOTE ME YOU WILL BE SUED. Some other outrages claims the disclaimer makes is that the site is only allowed to be viewed on a computer. And, since the content "if" (of) said site is used for revenue purposes, you can't use any of it. And I like the fact that even though I do not consent, the site consents for me. By visiting the site, I consent to be under the jurisdiction of El Paso County in Colorado. By clicking on the FAQ, I automatically agree to the site's terms of use, even though I explicitly signaled otherwise by clicking on "CANCEL" when the box came up. I recommend anyone trying this, its kinda funny.

1980's web design with GRATUITOUS CAPS+BOLD and random color changes aside, this site's mentality is completely incorrect. The fact that by visiting and copying text on the site I am automatically subjected to her terms is ridiculous. That's like going to a Denny's and saying after you start eating, "by biting this food, you willfully acknowledge the arsenic that we have put in it." Complete bullshit. Its this kind of stupidity that gets me.

And now the story that brought this site to my attention: this woman (my lawyer advised me not to use her name due to possible legal action for using "Suzanne Shell," since its on her website which is bound so tightly ... damn.) is suing archive.org (namely the WayBack machine portion off it) because it spidered her site and archived it. She says she never consented to the archiving program and since it copyed the information on her site, her "contract," which you automatically subject to upon entering the site, was breached. This is ridiculous because there is no way a computer program could have read that and not proceeded with its actions. Why doesn't she sue Google? In the Google results of her page, the second result is a PDF on her site which clearly copies content. What's even better is what you search for her URL. 182 incidencies of archived/cached content occur. Sue Google!

And where does this take me? Back to stupidity. This time, technology stupidity in particular. I've covered this topic before in the past, and this time, its no different. Relinquishing your rights and being notified of such relinquishing after you have been stripped of them is unlawful and, simply, retarded.

• THIS WEBSERVER SECURITY : 0 - http://www.battlestargalactica.com/, hacked. See a hacker's work in progress. If you read this in time, you may still even see the page.


• Bong Hits 4 Jesus - Going to the Supreme Court. And remember kids, getting high is OK. As long as you're doing it for Jesus.


• Diggnation: Penis edition - Yes. This is why I love diggnation. Maybe its cause I know this is like something I'd totally do. In this week's episode of diggnation, Kevin asked for a Penis-o-Meter to count how many times the two of them could say "penis" in the show. It didn't actually make it into the episode because the editor said it was too much work, but this fan made it. Funny stuff. He throws in other clips too. Man. Good show.

ke vina nda lex ftw

I started this post the day before the Dashboard Confessional concert. This is just another one of those long posts with random things listed for your amusement.

Parth, I took a listen to that Red Hot Chili Peppers song. Kick ass. Well, almost everything by RHCP is kick ass. John Frusciante = fucking awesome. And same with everyone else in the band.

Anyways, about that Dashboard concert. There is a lot to talk about, but nothing that doesn't happen at other concerts, assholes that don't know how to give you any space, attractive females taking photographs of themselves, tall people standing in front of you, and people walking around with full cups of foamy inebriating substances. Putting those things aside, the concert was awesome, the whole experience was. Especially in the parking garage when everyone started honking their horns together. Freaking awesome. Now the concert itself, orgasmic. The only way the concert could have been any better is if Chris played more songs. Great stuff.

Speaking of Chris, I have officially decided that Chris Carrabba can read minds. It was really freaking scary. During the concert, there were several occasions of this. At one point, someone told him to play Vindicated. He pretty much responded with a "screw you, I'm playing whatever I want," and at that very moment, I thought "I guess he's only going to play b-sides" Guess what he said. "All I'm playing tonight is b-sides." Coincidence? I think not, read on. At another point in the show, he got out an electric guitar [telecaster? I forget.] and the spotlight was hitting it and reflecting off into the audience. When I saw that I was thinking "Ha, that's like Bono and U2." Guess what he said. "I feel like Bono with this huge spotlight." God damn. Plus, that's not all. For some reason, one of the songs made me think about Weezer, and I thought "Man, I feel like listening to some Weezer." Well, when he finishes up the song he was just playing he begins to introduce the next song. He says it's a cover of a song by a band he toured with once. Now which band was that? Fucking WEEZER. [El Scorcho]

Speaking of Weezer, I think it was Matt that was asking about this? Muppets + Weezer = magic.

Final word on the concert: Despite running into a couple of douchebags and losing faith in the secrecy of my mind's contents, it was pretty awesome. Not only was it enjoyable, it was also inspirational. I came up with the greatest idea in the world. I am going to invent a whammy bar for acoustic guitars.

Speaking of instruments...
Greatest drummer ever? Buddy Rich.
Want to argue with me? Show me someone else who can play this like Buddy Rich does. O wait. YOU CAN'T.

Speaking of drums...
I really need some money to get new heads for it or try and sell it and buy an entirely new set. So if anyone is interested. :D

Speaking of money...
T-SHIRT COMPANY. Well, we're all pretty busy, maybe we'll figure something out during the next break we have.

Speaking of t-shirts...
songmeanings.net
I always like to read through people's thoughts on lyrics sometimes. It really shows how far you can stretch things. Fun to read. You can also find the occasional Parth. The person who says stuff like "its beautiful. to take a word like stolen, which alone holds such a negative meaning...but when he almost 'whispers his words'--you have stolen my heart--- he shows how love is unique....in that such a common emotion, has such unique, overpowering qualities...love can both be liberating anc captivating. it can be both willing and unexpected..." [sic]
Beautiful.
Too bad it made almost no sense at all.
btw that was in a thread about Stolen by Dashboard Confessional.

Speaking about confessions...
I believe someone asked a question in the bloober a while back about the hottest extreme sports athlete. Well, I believe surfing counts?
I also believe Anastasia Ashley counts?

Speaking of counting...
This is pure genious.
I am totally going to propose like that.

Speaking of proposals...
This is not a link.
Mozart on electric bass. Not perfect, but fun to watch and listen to.

Speaking of literature...
Diagramming sentences: How would it ever help you in life?
Well I came up with a way. You know those scenarios people are thrown into in the Saw movies? Well what if you were stuck in one of those scenarios, and the only way to get out was by diagramming? Well, what would happen would be, the victim would be locked in a room and on a wall in the room is a sentence. The person finds the tape blah blah listens to it and finds out that he must diagram the sentence in order to get out. Easy so far right? Well this is where the fun begins, the person has a limited number of tries. How would you limit someone's tries? Well, we only have so many fingers and toes... The person has to cut off a digit and use it as a writing stick, and when they have completed their answer, they must throw their "writing stick" into a disposal thing for the man in control to check his answer. Yeah, I know, gruesome.

Speaking of pain...
You know, that would make a freaking great commercial promoting education. The screen starts off pitch black, then the lights kick in and its the aforementioned scenario, except you could probably change it up with a math problem or something. Then the tape would say like "Mr. Johnson, you always said school was useless... etc etc." Then the real fun would begin. Finally, at the end of the commercial, this Mr. Johnson submits his final try. The guy in charge checks it. WRONG. Then you hear the scary voice "Goodbye Mr. Johnson." and the whole screen goes pitch black and you hear the guy scream "NOOO!!" [a la Saw I Credits] and on the screen, the words "STAY IN SCHOOL." will appear.

Speaking of awesome...
Call him Dolphin Boy. Or Ben. Either one. Doug or Glenn, take your pick.


enjoy.